Episod 14.

Hey guys.
This coming Thursday , im having a movie date with iyyra! awesome . aisha? shes mia. Haiss . but she bought 3 present for me as birthday present. Impressed by my girls.


Why should i wait? why? because i love you. You dont even appreciate nor cherish me. I told myself and even others i've moved on. But, do you trust me? No. I still in love with you . You're my past. But , i still dream of my past and pray that one day i will be yours. i know its hard for you to love me , but i will wait. maybe , allah is still writing my love story. so , i will just wait for the right one no matter what. one day , im sure a guy who really loves me will love me and tell everyone im his girl. and faithful to me.
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Episod 13.

Hey guys. Its been so so so so long since i last update. hahah , i suddenly remember that i should blog. cause there is so many awesome nor unbelievable stories.
First of all, im single for ......................... 10 months. unbelievable. hahahahah . so much of hurting shits happen about guys and me. so i decided , that i should be single till i found the right one.
Sec one life? Its awesome and great. I love my 3 charlie angles ; Nur Aisha Bte Faizal , Nurul Anndriana Bte Zahid &&&& Nur Athirah Bte Azmi. They are there for me when i need them. Thanks beloved angelss.
Story about Aisha & Anndriana . We start to close after Dini's grandma's passed away. Anndriana feel left out because when Dini's grandma passed away , Dini has been fetched by her mum & dad. so anndriana feel like , she's alone. so me and aisha asked her to tag along with us. We start to be so fucking close yet , shits happen . Dini come back after she left ann. She took away ann. She make ann changed alot. I know during that period of time , Dini wants to be alone. But , she left ann . So ann decided to change to a new person & she chose to be with us.... but Dini brainwash her till she .... change that much. its hurtful disappointing .
Athirah aka iyrra ? Oh , shes a awesome friend . we usually lepak . we are close . very close . just like A&A but , her class is diff. :) thats all.
Ermmm , i have no more stories.......... oh wait!
Tommy Salehin , they are my crush. Forever & always ;) <3

Epidose 12.

Everything happen in life must be gone by wind.

Salehin? idk what else happen between us. its hurtful. its been 1 week i last talked to him. he is happy with his new life where he is now so close with Shairah. I know, you're my crush. but, can we talk about this? i dont want to lose you. i dont want to have nightmares anymore. My heart is just for you. My brain are full of you. my tears are for you. My soul are only for you. but , will you do the same? no. i guess what i said is always true. Its been long for me since i last never saw you at canteen like we used to. its been so long. and , im absent from school today. i wont know what will happen. i dont know if you miss me or not. but sincerely , i do. Saturday , Sunday. Am i sure if you are going to be online like you used to? i dont know what will happen. i dont know if you are attach with................ all this freaking feeling makes me feel so tired. I am honest for this. i dont want anything to happen between us. you asked me to move on, its hard for me. I'll try. you said stay as friends. so, i do. you and your other friend which is female gender , were so close. then me? sorry if i irritates you. i dont mean it. i just want to show how much i fucking love you :'( I dont want to be hurt again. i dont want to cry again. i dont want to be left out again. i dont want to be in love again. Lastly, I dont want to lose you. That's all. I really love you with my heart. I dont go for your looks. i dont go for your pats , i dont go for your money, i dont go for your cleverness. i go for your personality and for who you are. it is really sad if you doesnt know this. I've been asking you for another date which maybe will be better than 190712 . but, i dont get the response. why is it so?

On 190712 , we go through sweetness and hardness. Hard core baby.
I waited you for your floorball training to end and we plan to go back together. SO, we do. but, we didn't sat together in the bus and where ever we supposed. You chose to sit with Shairah at bus. I have Felix , Matthew, Adam and Jayson near me. but, i dont feel you there. You sat 3meters away from me. You laughed, smile, shout, talk with her. What can i do with it? i can't do anything. In this life, i will be your friend . But in the other life, i will be your girl. Waiting for your love roses against me. And then, the trip of the bus ended at Yishun Interchange. I walked all alone till Northpoint. Suddenly, Felix, Adam and Jayson shouted my name and asked me if i want to follow them to KFC with you or not. so i do, you went to a clothing shop near the place where i'm stuck with road blocks. then, i walked to KFC , you walked beside me. You asked me where i really wanna go right now cause , im walking to other direction. i replied 'Toilet'. so you followed , we separated outside the toilet and you went to man's toilet and that time, ladies toilet was full. so the q is so long till outside. Then i heard you saying to Felix saying "asal dia cute sangat? " cause i was doing faces. i was so happy but sad. then , you said you wait for me outside. I said 'ok.' and put a smile and wait for my turn to be in the toilet bowl peeing. after a few minutes , its my turn to go to the toilet. after i finish going to toilet... i do adjust my hair , adjust my skirt and adjust my awkward feelings and washed my hand and walked out of the toilet. right after i walked out, the first face i saw was you. Then we chose our seats. You buy for me S4 . Which is Snackers , contains of Fries and Popcorn Chicken. then , not enough money to buy your's. then you ask me to eat. i just sat at my seat and stare at you. i am shy to talk . Felix talking to me then i show him that tongue out face :b . then you say , anything i do , you can see at the mirror next to Adam. I was like paisey ah. then , i use eye contact to you face to face. Long long , i was damn shy and look at the mirror while you too. we use eye contact there. you make so many jokes that make me smile and laugh to the 3 K P O boys. Then , 30 minutes later , Felix asked me why i dont want to eat after too many times they asked me to eat. then my reason was "Because he never eat". Then , the 3 K P O boys was like awwwwwwww. then he ate one popcorn and then i also. From 6.45pm to 8pm . love that day. then, after that the boys went off to interchange. that day , i MUST take Mrt. so i did. he sent me . He took mrt too. but , he took towards Marina Bay while me , Jurong. So , he wait till my train to come even tough  he's train arrived. How sweet are you , salehin. Melt ah seh :) then, my train arrived. so, i alight the train. It was peak hours. FULL. Then , he wave goodbye to me . and i wave goodbye too. that's all. <3

Face i was talking about. 

Love this day so much :')
#Justsaying - Most of the girls did adjust their self in toilets especially during their dates. 

EPISODE 11.

Hey. 1week i never update? :O so long. i got too many stories to be told to you. Firstly, on Monday, or what day it is. When school reopens , i have no stories to tell. I can't remember which day. but days that makes me feels so bad. When i cried for Mr S. Because of S. Mr Salehin because of Shairah. I get to know that Salehin love Shairah. Hurtful isn't it? :( So i cried at school, after school , at canteen , in front of him. While I'm listening to this specific song that makes me cried remembered of Salehin. Actually, i am not crying at the first place.. since i remembered what thing that makes me feel so sad. I cried. Aisha and Ariena can't do anything. They know me well. Times where i cried , leave me alone. If not , you'll get it even you are not at fault. So, i force myself not to cry, but i'm sorry. I cried. I cover my face so it doesn't look obvious. but, my friends can't shut their own mouth, they told Salehin. A letter from him was been sent to me by his friend. i read. so touching and cute. Love it. I can't control myself because i know i can't, i ran to the toilet. Only Aisha give a damn about it and chase me. I WENT TO ONE OF THE TOILET AND CRIED INSIDE , COOL MYSELF UP, DELETING THOSE HURTFUL PARTS, WIPE MY TEARS, ACT NORMAL , FLUSH THE TOILET , OPEN DOOR, GO TO SINK, WASH MY FACE AND WALK TO THE CANTEEN BACK. When i sat back, i continue listening to the same song, again and again.Suddenly, I heard the little voice shouting something. i don't bother to face up and look. so, i ignored. then , my friends go away. i don't know to where. then i heard a footstep coming. I looked and guess who................................................................. S A L E H I N . He come and sat in front of me asking why i cried.. i ran to the toilet AGAIN. At first, i thought my friends are inside the toilet . Then, i checked inside the toilet. They are not there. so , i settle down at the seat inside the toilet. My teardrop can't stop flowing down from my beautiful brown pair of eyes. i started to wake myself up from the dreams. I act like it is a dream. So, i went to face the mirror. I supposed, i look so old after i cried. so, I STOP CRYING, FOLD MY SKIRT , TIDY MY HAIR UP, PUSH THE DOOR , WALK AWAY AND SAT AT THE BENCH I SAT BEFORE THAT. then, after a few minutes later, i was okay. to maintain my face. HAHA. My father fetch me at school after that and the next day.... next update.

EPISODE 10.

Hey. what day is today? Saturday? Freaks out. i have not done doing my maths and some other homeworks because i left it under the table. oh i wish, my books are still under the table. if not... i surely die. gosh. praying so hard. Pleaseee. i will be mad if teacher took it away. school will starts very soon. i'm just stress. both sister of mine want to buy phone . IPHONE4S. i am very jealous. they got many money. while me? i don't feel good anyway. i cried because of it. i want to work. get my own money and buy. i don't care. if i need to be stupid, end my studies this year or what ever it is. I'm willing. Rather than waiting for a thing that i don't want to wait. i don't feel like living in this world. i get bored of my life. and i feels like killing myself. i don't want to live in this world anymore. so useless. Then now, i got no mood. my mum go disturb me with no reason. who never get mad? i shouted at her and guess what she says. she say ' don't wish that i will buy you a phone' . she promised me and she say she don't want to buy for me? broken promises. i want to prove to people that i can survive without family. i don't care if my marks are getting from bad to worst. its been 3 years since i as for a new branded phone. My parents are rich. why can't they buy for me. once in a life time i ask then they say some stupid stuffs. i don't care. if i need to be a slut or what. i still wants to work. i don't want to stay at this house already. i want go stay some where else. please eh. my life so sucks . i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to live anymore. i don't want to have a family anymore. i don't want to continue study anymore. i don't want to be a part of this family anymore. i want to find money. i want to die. i want to stop studies. i want to be stupid if i have to. i want to stay some where else where i don't have anybody by my side. i want to do anything so i can get what i want. if i have to do all that, i will. for money to buy phone. to live my life. i want to make my life very useless because it was now. i want to live my life with darkness. i don't want to hear any advice. i don't need anybody by my side now. i want to save up. i want to be happy. i don't have any happiness. i want to be FOREVER ALONE. if school starts , i want to sell things or something else to get money. i don't get any rewards if i passed or get my marks better. my life is full of shit , failures, darkness, scoldings and thoughts. all i know first thing i want to do is to buy my phone. and please, Hari Raya come faster. so i get more money to support me. my life is full of challenges. once i said, will make it clear. the picture up there says that 'tomorrow'. but i say next time.

EPISODE 9.

Hey episode 9! to episode 8... i'm sorry because i didnt update on the same day. because my sister and i was doing something else. my sister went SG at 4am in the morning with dad. so yeah. i cant stay up so late lah. got no friend to tag along. so? i got damn many stories to tell. i dont care if you give a damn or not for that one readers. Cherry, its not you. :)

Firstly, yesterday. my ask my sister not to go back. so, she didnt. but she says she work today and i need to force myself to tell her to go back early at 4am. with dad. yesterday was a very surprising and exciting day! My big sister & her bf go and buy cakes at Lavender shop. Cake shop. they bought it when my mum, birthday sis and me was eating at Anjung Tokoh. the place that Cherry ate with me before :)  my big sister say : Mama, give me money. i want go buy car accessories . then my mum fished out the money. actually, idk about it. but, good lah. a surprise for me too! so, after that they went to buy the cake and then they fetch us at AT. then my birthday sister ask... where the car thingy? then my sister say : behind. got boxes and stuffs . very big. go home then can open. then my sister's bf drive us to karaoke there. and then we booked a room ah. then my sister and her bf say they forgotten to take something. so my birthday sister, mum and i went to the room first. then suddenly ! SURPRISE!
Secondly, Shairah and Me getting better already. *forced situation*
Thirdly,  i got nothing much to update.. i forgotten those stories. :( next episode okay?
and yeah, i update later! :)

EPISODE 8.

Hey guys. what i wish come true. Firstly, i get to chat with my sister , Cherry! its been so long since last we talk . :7 hmm. Secondly, i dont hope for it. but, its the fact. had so much fun with beloved sister yesterday but yet, she needs to go back to sg tomorrow. so sad. what a life. after one problem, another come. gonna spend my last night with her sadly. tsk, i hate last days. and you know what? Cherry. she chatted with me a few mins ago till now. okaay, what she told me was... her bf started again. he ask for a break. what's wrong with him? i dont understand. like so complicated. i think they havent broke up. please, dont. i cant imagine. i just cant. oh my gosh. Love is hurtful. man, i never wish to fall in love again. wah piang. i got nothing much to update but all i know is...
-Cherry can't broke up with her bf.
-Sis going back tomorrow.
-Gonna spend the last night.
-I hate to be last. (like Cherry always experienced.)
-Never wish to have a love partner.
-Life is complicated.
-I am not ready to move on.
-Hope everything's gonna be okay.

I hope nothing happens after this. I'm sick. can my episodes here, not to be so like emo? i'm here to share my life. yes i do. but the cheerful parts. :) Enjoy reading my little , complicated and boring episode for today. but, do take Cherry's story seriously dude. Gonna update soon, next episode by today. i promise. Want to hear what Cherry need to tell me. Dont go anywhere. Be right back. :*

EPISODE 7.

Hey. Today? i never go sg. cool right? and, i cant chat with cherry. fantastic. i suddenly remembered. i told you that TUESDAY i will try to take time to chat with cherry right? she never online. shes busy. gotta understand. ok. worst, i never eat breakfast nor lunch. how to gain weight? tell me? all sucks. my dad, yesterday night give mum and sister money. but not me. That time, i went Gopeng with NPCC cadets. you know how much i bring along for my money? rm50. is it enough? 4 days and i get so less. even my friends buy a lot of stuffs for our shopping session. fuck yeah. i know im a foster child. i'll never regret to be one but i regret for living in this world. fml. i dont understand why. and today? i dont know what to update for now. next episode soon. bye. here, some stupid quote up there.

EPISODE 6.

Hey. at night update. will try to update more okaay^^. if you were asking me what was the answer of mhy beloved friends about tomorrow's plan was... Ariena, dont want to reply. she's always like that. fuck. Cherry? she says this whole week, she was busy. ok fine. i will just hang out alone. why my life, every where i go, my status was *ALONE*. like no life. i got ever think of why i was born in this world. my family, treat me well, as a maid. i mean like a maid. friends? betrayed me, ignored me, walling me. understand what i mean? no. K-.- well . i can easily understand what im writing. i feels left away, like a foster child, my breakfast, lunch and also dinner was always sucks. some secret to tell you, almost 4 times a week i ate maggie up. maybe sardines? that's the reason why im so thin like a stick girl and the rest of my family arent. sometimes, i say i hate my body and so on because i want to feel what the others  do. i would like to be tag along when you guys got exercises to do. its not about losing more weight . its about i want to be fit. i ate up a lot. till rice in my house finished. you cant see improvements. in one month, i grew taller by 5cm or what so ever. you guys says im short. yes i do, but its hurtful. i cant help myself. by drinking milk also doesnt change it. i grew up taller because every night i jump in my bed like someone's mad. you just dont know. at school, i almost finish my money because i bought milks, snack and rice. bubble tea? you know, i always buy bubble tea that contains milk. i do eat outside for my dinner sometimes, but what i ate is what i taste. i buy one plate for myself. you know what? my sisters and mother suddenly take their fork/spoon and taste some. if it taste nice, they'll take more. how can i be fat? i always drink up milo when i'm having dinner.. i cant blame anyone. but, i blame myself. you guys are lucky to have the things that i dont. you guys dont ever understand what my feelings are. you think im joking? my life is not a joke.
and hell, my dinner is just a fried noodles and blueberry drink. :( i cant upload pictures now. my wifi is running out of service. snap a pic just now. upload soon. i got nothing much to update. i hate my life. fml.

EPISODE 5.

hey. sad news. actually, i plan to go sg tmrw. seriously, at home so bored. ask that bitch, Ariena, she never reply. ask cherry? she was away and dont knw when she can reply. its so sad for me. you know what? jealousy of seeing other friends going out meeting each other. i just dont know why i got this freaking feeling that no one can barely understand. i can update you for so long. my mum ask me to bath then accompany her go massage thingy. i just need to shake my head saying yes and i gonna prepare soon. okay lol. and you know what? mum say ask my dad for money, permission and must go back with my dad. money for shopping or eat, top up ez-link , top up phone. ask permission? my mum let me. the difficulties is that, my dad dont always let me to go out during holidays. he said, that's dangerous. okay dad. i know you love me,  but do give me a bit of freedom. i got nothing much to update. i hope my kakak, Cherry will reply soon and say she will join or what so ever. i want to update many many. but then, i got no stories. and, Syazwani. the one who ever talks to my kakak before. she use to hang out with me, Ariena and some others when she fought with Jasmeen. when they okay alr, left us. wtf sia. update at night. mum's getting red! bye..

EPISODE 4.

a boring monday today. i got nothing much to update. but, i got a few stories which i suddenly remembered. okay first. Shairah, you know her? a senior of mine. sec2. she really flirts with Izzuddin. you know that guy? he's my senior from pri sch. okay, the problem is. Din got girlfriend alr. Din and that Shairah know from the soccer club or something. their tweets, the way they took photos together, the way they praise each other. you imagine, Din's girlfriend know about it. That girl be single lately. just broke up. and then, their tweets, is referring to each other. i feels like vomiting right now. yeah, that girl is white like a snow white, pretty like a princess, tall like a stick man, have a weight which is suitable, rich like a millionaire, hair long like a string. so what? doesn't mean both of them like each others way of life, they must stead right? okay, i get jealous because she can attract many boys attention. no lie, the fact. honest much. they ate together, go out together and stuffs.I'm jealous. i got never did to a guy like that when I'm single. Am i a something or something? okay, you don't get what i meant. i just get tired of jealousy. Zawiah , stop it. for you info, my tweets are all about her. Blogs about her. Sweet scandal. Secondly, my Malay homework. my gosh. just find out that i need to do 100 words . find the words from newspapers/articles then find meaning. troublesome right? i heard , many of them don't even give a damn to do. so, i won't. i want to spent my week enjoying and sleep early. can? of course. Thirdly, my sister and mum wants to buy a pussy cat from our neighbor. white color. so adorable. I'm not sure about the price. but, mum says, she will buy it for my sister and me. I'm so excited like hell. hope it really happens. Fourthly,  my brother go back to his own house already. so sad :( no one will scold me. once a week , he will visit mum and my family at here. hoping that lord will keep him save. Fifthly, i have not bath yet and mum is sleeping while she said she want to go massage. then, fall asleep. and and, my sister come back at 6pm today. so early right. okay, i got nothing much to update. anything, next episode. bye. :*

EPISODE 3.

Hey! Sup sup. I'm back here again.. my mama is back! yes ah. okay. i got nothing much to update. let me tell you something. I am not satisfy with some bitch out there. and one of them is Ariena. all she say was like a lie. the fights are over. yes, but i just can't say it out. unfortunately, my friend who stay near my house which is Hafizah, she promise me saying that want to meet. okay fine. i wake up at afternoon then they never turn up. what the hell, right? i feel so sad. i just don't know why. maybe because her friend came here, she need to give a extra treat. seriously? and then what am I? i am just a friend which wait for other friend to come. but, what i hated most is the word 'never turn up'. what am i suppose to do... they treat me like rubbish. almost all the plans that i made, all never turn up. i so stress.
Ariena- Is the want that ever talks to Cherry happily and looks so innocent.
Hafizah- Is the want that Cherry don't know who she is, Singaporean, stay here for visiting her grandparents house. Is the want who bring her friend here, and ignores me.
That's what i call 'friend'. i prefers Cherry as my only best friend this year. even, we are not that close a few years back. we can start fresh. with all those stories we had. that's a new life.
As a friend, i want to help Cherry by:
-making her fit
-makes her day
-help her to lose weight
-stop the shits that Irfan made
-make them two happy again
-accompany her
-chat with her every time
-go home with her
-exchange stories
-keep it private
-be my sister? :)

EPISODE 2.

Hey! today is a unplanned morning. Suppose to accompany mama to go massage . but then, wake up. saw her wearing long pants with a simple tee. ask her, mama, going for the massage thingy? she says, no. wake up so late. night then we go. then i replied, where you going now? she left and say shop. then now? me? alone at home . HOME ALONE. Cherry, can't be able to chat. because she say she got outing. i am not sure what kind of outing. maybe family's? i pity her damn much. that guy who she love a lot can't continue with all his shit. that's the mistake for falling too deep. actually, i want to do something about it. but then, cherry say don't. so, i won't. i am the type that listens well. communicate well. enjoyable. forever alone. forever young. intelligence i need most. money is what i call my husband. and fashion of clothing i call my very best friend. if you know me well, you should know about this. i don't encourage you to remember. but if you are a good listener, you should. i got nothing much to update. my English so broken like that. hmm, enjoy reading. in one day, i can do more than 1 episodes. so, do check it out.

Mama, where are you? oh my gosh. i love this guy.. he's so hot and he makes me melts all time. follow me at Twitter. @zawiahh.

EPISODE 1.

Hey! :) its 1.00am and I'm updating. i just want to surprise Cherry. she say i will be busy if i start blogging. i guess no.. because, i blog during I'm free. my sis is currently doing her stuffs right now. at least, i got a friend to hold up early in the morning. cherry says that she got outing tomorrow. so, probably can't chat with her. but, I'll take her time on TUESDAY. okay :) i actually want to tell the story of my life. it is just that like i can't. okay first, i love Akmal. he don't know about it. dream about him lately. what a nightmare. Cherry? Irfan ignored her. just pity her. she says she want to lose weight. she says she's ugly. she says she just put a happy status in her life. she says she love comparing herself. she says that guy contact with other pretty girls. Cherry, accept the fact that all that is just a mind. follows your heart. that's the main point.

INTRO

Hey! i'm here to update. seriously. i will start to update again. i just got to many stories to tell. hmm yeah, you know what? the one that inspire me to blog back is my best best friend, Cherry. you know her? she is the one which makes my day. i love her damn much. you know what? i think blogging will make my life better because, i call tell stories to CHERRY and BLOGGER. :P next post ah. i will be doing episodes for my blog. love it or not? that's the fact. BAH BAH BAH><

Hello. :3

HELLO! ^^ okaay. basically here for new blogger:) hmm. maybe, this blogger is for my secondary school life. but, damn. i prefer old want! i just love the decorations i made in it. will update soon. Bye pies.