Episod 14.

Hey guys.
This coming Thursday , im having a movie date with iyyra! awesome . aisha? shes mia. Haiss . but she bought 3 present for me as birthday present. Impressed by my girls.


Why should i wait? why? because i love you. You dont even appreciate nor cherish me. I told myself and even others i've moved on. But, do you trust me? No. I still in love with you . You're my past. But , i still dream of my past and pray that one day i will be yours. i know its hard for you to love me , but i will wait. maybe , allah is still writing my love story. so , i will just wait for the right one no matter what. one day , im sure a guy who really loves me will love me and tell everyone im his girl. and faithful to me.
J
U
S
T

W
A
I
T

&

I
T
S

W
O
R
T
H

I
T .

Episod 13.

Hey guys. Its been so so so so long since i last update. hahah , i suddenly remember that i should blog. cause there is so many awesome nor unbelievable stories.
First of all, im single for ......................... 10 months. unbelievable. hahahahah . so much of hurting shits happen about guys and me. so i decided , that i should be single till i found the right one.
Sec one life? Its awesome and great. I love my 3 charlie angles ; Nur Aisha Bte Faizal , Nurul Anndriana Bte Zahid &&&& Nur Athirah Bte Azmi. They are there for me when i need them. Thanks beloved angelss.
Story about Aisha & Anndriana . We start to close after Dini's grandma's passed away. Anndriana feel left out because when Dini's grandma passed away , Dini has been fetched by her mum & dad. so anndriana feel like , she's alone. so me and aisha asked her to tag along with us. We start to be so fucking close yet , shits happen . Dini come back after she left ann. She took away ann. She make ann changed alot. I know during that period of time , Dini wants to be alone. But , she left ann . So ann decided to change to a new person & she chose to be with us.... but Dini brainwash her till she .... change that much. its hurtful disappointing .
Athirah aka iyrra ? Oh , shes a awesome friend . we usually lepak . we are close . very close . just like A&A but , her class is diff. :) thats all.
Ermmm , i have no more stories.......... oh wait!
Tommy Salehin , they are my crush. Forever & always ;) <3

Epidose 12.

Everything happen in life must be gone by wind.

Salehin? idk what else happen between us. its hurtful. its been 1 week i last talked to him. he is happy with his new life where he is now so close with Shairah. I know, you're my crush. but, can we talk about this? i dont want to lose you. i dont want to have nightmares anymore. My heart is just for you. My brain are full of you. my tears are for you. My soul are only for you. but , will you do the same? no. i guess what i said is always true. Its been long for me since i last never saw you at canteen like we used to. its been so long. and , im absent from school today. i wont know what will happen. i dont know if you miss me or not. but sincerely , i do. Saturday , Sunday. Am i sure if you are going to be online like you used to? i dont know what will happen. i dont know if you are attach with................ all this freaking feeling makes me feel so tired. I am honest for this. i dont want anything to happen between us. you asked me to move on, its hard for me. I'll try. you said stay as friends. so, i do. you and your other friend which is female gender , were so close. then me? sorry if i irritates you. i dont mean it. i just want to show how much i fucking love you :'( I dont want to be hurt again. i dont want to cry again. i dont want to be left out again. i dont want to be in love again. Lastly, I dont want to lose you. That's all. I really love you with my heart. I dont go for your looks. i dont go for your pats , i dont go for your money, i dont go for your cleverness. i go for your personality and for who you are. it is really sad if you doesnt know this. I've been asking you for another date which maybe will be better than 190712 . but, i dont get the response. why is it so?

On 190712 , we go through sweetness and hardness. Hard core baby.
I waited you for your floorball training to end and we plan to go back together. SO, we do. but, we didn't sat together in the bus and where ever we supposed. You chose to sit with Shairah at bus. I have Felix , Matthew, Adam and Jayson near me. but, i dont feel you there. You sat 3meters away from me. You laughed, smile, shout, talk with her. What can i do with it? i can't do anything. In this life, i will be your friend . But in the other life, i will be your girl. Waiting for your love roses against me. And then, the trip of the bus ended at Yishun Interchange. I walked all alone till Northpoint. Suddenly, Felix, Adam and Jayson shouted my name and asked me if i want to follow them to KFC with you or not. so i do, you went to a clothing shop near the place where i'm stuck with road blocks. then, i walked to KFC , you walked beside me. You asked me where i really wanna go right now cause , im walking to other direction. i replied 'Toilet'. so you followed , we separated outside the toilet and you went to man's toilet and that time, ladies toilet was full. so the q is so long till outside. Then i heard you saying to Felix saying "asal dia cute sangat? " cause i was doing faces. i was so happy but sad. then , you said you wait for me outside. I said 'ok.' and put a smile and wait for my turn to be in the toilet bowl peeing. after a few minutes , its my turn to go to the toilet. after i finish going to toilet... i do adjust my hair , adjust my skirt and adjust my awkward feelings and washed my hand and walked out of the toilet. right after i walked out, the first face i saw was you. Then we chose our seats. You buy for me S4 . Which is Snackers , contains of Fries and Popcorn Chicken. then , not enough money to buy your's. then you ask me to eat. i just sat at my seat and stare at you. i am shy to talk . Felix talking to me then i show him that tongue out face :b . then you say , anything i do , you can see at the mirror next to Adam. I was like paisey ah. then , i use eye contact to you face to face. Long long , i was damn shy and look at the mirror while you too. we use eye contact there. you make so many jokes that make me smile and laugh to the 3 K P O boys. Then , 30 minutes later , Felix asked me why i dont want to eat after too many times they asked me to eat. then my reason was "Because he never eat". Then , the 3 K P O boys was like awwwwwwww. then he ate one popcorn and then i also. From 6.45pm to 8pm . love that day. then, after that the boys went off to interchange. that day , i MUST take Mrt. so i did. he sent me . He took mrt too. but , he took towards Marina Bay while me , Jurong. So , he wait till my train to come even tough  he's train arrived. How sweet are you , salehin. Melt ah seh :) then, my train arrived. so, i alight the train. It was peak hours. FULL. Then , he wave goodbye to me . and i wave goodbye too. that's all. <3

Face i was talking about. 

Love this day so much :')
#Justsaying - Most of the girls did adjust their self in toilets especially during their dates. 

EPISODE 11.

Hey. 1week i never update? :O so long. i got too many stories to be told to you. Firstly, on Monday, or what day it is. When school reopens , i have no stories to tell. I can't remember which day. but days that makes me feels so bad. When i cried for Mr S. Because of S. Mr Salehin because of Shairah. I get to know that Salehin love Shairah. Hurtful isn't it? :( So i cried at school, after school , at canteen , in front of him. While I'm listening to this specific song that makes me cried remembered of Salehin. Actually, i am not crying at the first place.. since i remembered what thing that makes me feel so sad. I cried. Aisha and Ariena can't do anything. They know me well. Times where i cried , leave me alone. If not , you'll get it even you are not at fault. So, i force myself not to cry, but i'm sorry. I cried. I cover my face so it doesn't look obvious. but, my friends can't shut their own mouth, they told Salehin. A letter from him was been sent to me by his friend. i read. so touching and cute. Love it. I can't control myself because i know i can't, i ran to the toilet. Only Aisha give a damn about it and chase me. I WENT TO ONE OF THE TOILET AND CRIED INSIDE , COOL MYSELF UP, DELETING THOSE HURTFUL PARTS, WIPE MY TEARS, ACT NORMAL , FLUSH THE TOILET , OPEN DOOR, GO TO SINK, WASH MY FACE AND WALK TO THE CANTEEN BACK. When i sat back, i continue listening to the same song, again and again.Suddenly, I heard the little voice shouting something. i don't bother to face up and look. so, i ignored. then , my friends go away. i don't know to where. then i heard a footstep coming. I looked and guess who................................................................. S A L E H I N . He come and sat in front of me asking why i cried.. i ran to the toilet AGAIN. At first, i thought my friends are inside the toilet . Then, i checked inside the toilet. They are not there. so , i settle down at the seat inside the toilet. My teardrop can't stop flowing down from my beautiful brown pair of eyes. i started to wake myself up from the dreams. I act like it is a dream. So, i went to face the mirror. I supposed, i look so old after i cried. so, I STOP CRYING, FOLD MY SKIRT , TIDY MY HAIR UP, PUSH THE DOOR , WALK AWAY AND SAT AT THE BENCH I SAT BEFORE THAT. then, after a few minutes later, i was okay. to maintain my face. HAHA. My father fetch me at school after that and the next day.... next update.

EPISODE 10.

Hey. what day is today? Saturday? Freaks out. i have not done doing my maths and some other homeworks because i left it under the table. oh i wish, my books are still under the table. if not... i surely die. gosh. praying so hard. Pleaseee. i will be mad if teacher took it away. school will starts very soon. i'm just stress. both sister of mine want to buy phone . IPHONE4S. i am very jealous. they got many money. while me? i don't feel good anyway. i cried because of it. i want to work. get my own money and buy. i don't care. if i need to be stupid, end my studies this year or what ever it is. I'm willing. Rather than waiting for a thing that i don't want to wait. i don't feel like living in this world. i get bored of my life. and i feels like killing myself. i don't want to live in this world anymore. so useless. Then now, i got no mood. my mum go disturb me with no reason. who never get mad? i shouted at her and guess what she says. she say ' don't wish that i will buy you a phone' . she promised me and she say she don't want to buy for me? broken promises. i want to prove to people that i can survive without family. i don't care if my marks are getting from bad to worst. its been 3 years since i as for a new branded phone. My parents are rich. why can't they buy for me. once in a life time i ask then they say some stupid stuffs. i don't care. if i need to be a slut or what. i still wants to work. i don't want to stay at this house already. i want go stay some where else. please eh. my life so sucks . i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to live anymore. i don't want to have a family anymore. i don't want to continue study anymore. i don't want to be a part of this family anymore. i want to find money. i want to die. i want to stop studies. i want to be stupid if i have to. i want to stay some where else where i don't have anybody by my side. i want to do anything so i can get what i want. if i have to do all that, i will. for money to buy phone. to live my life. i want to make my life very useless because it was now. i want to live my life with darkness. i don't want to hear any advice. i don't need anybody by my side now. i want to save up. i want to be happy. i don't have any happiness. i want to be FOREVER ALONE. if school starts , i want to sell things or something else to get money. i don't get any rewards if i passed or get my marks better. my life is full of shit , failures, darkness, scoldings and thoughts. all i know first thing i want to do is to buy my phone. and please, Hari Raya come faster. so i get more money to support me. my life is full of challenges. once i said, will make it clear. the picture up there says that 'tomorrow'. but i say next time.

EPISODE 9.

Hey episode 9! to episode 8... i'm sorry because i didnt update on the same day. because my sister and i was doing something else. my sister went SG at 4am in the morning with dad. so yeah. i cant stay up so late lah. got no friend to tag along. so? i got damn many stories to tell. i dont care if you give a damn or not for that one readers. Cherry, its not you. :)

Firstly, yesterday. my ask my sister not to go back. so, she didnt. but she says she work today and i need to force myself to tell her to go back early at 4am. with dad. yesterday was a very surprising and exciting day! My big sister & her bf go and buy cakes at Lavender shop. Cake shop. they bought it when my mum, birthday sis and me was eating at Anjung Tokoh. the place that Cherry ate with me before :)  my big sister say : Mama, give me money. i want go buy car accessories . then my mum fished out the money. actually, idk about it. but, good lah. a surprise for me too! so, after that they went to buy the cake and then they fetch us at AT. then my birthday sister ask... where the car thingy? then my sister say : behind. got boxes and stuffs . very big. go home then can open. then my sister's bf drive us to karaoke there. and then we booked a room ah. then my sister and her bf say they forgotten to take something. so my birthday sister, mum and i went to the room first. then suddenly ! SURPRISE!
Secondly, Shairah and Me getting better already. *forced situation*
Thirdly,  i got nothing much to update.. i forgotten those stories. :( next episode okay?
and yeah, i update later! :)

EPISODE 8.

Hey guys. what i wish come true. Firstly, i get to chat with my sister , Cherry! its been so long since last we talk . :7 hmm. Secondly, i dont hope for it. but, its the fact. had so much fun with beloved sister yesterday but yet, she needs to go back to sg tomorrow. so sad. what a life. after one problem, another come. gonna spend my last night with her sadly. tsk, i hate last days. and you know what? Cherry. she chatted with me a few mins ago till now. okaay, what she told me was... her bf started again. he ask for a break. what's wrong with him? i dont understand. like so complicated. i think they havent broke up. please, dont. i cant imagine. i just cant. oh my gosh. Love is hurtful. man, i never wish to fall in love again. wah piang. i got nothing much to update but all i know is...
-Cherry can't broke up with her bf.
-Sis going back tomorrow.
-Gonna spend the last night.
-I hate to be last. (like Cherry always experienced.)
-Never wish to have a love partner.
-Life is complicated.
-I am not ready to move on.
-Hope everything's gonna be okay.

I hope nothing happens after this. I'm sick. can my episodes here, not to be so like emo? i'm here to share my life. yes i do. but the cheerful parts. :) Enjoy reading my little , complicated and boring episode for today. but, do take Cherry's story seriously dude. Gonna update soon, next episode by today. i promise. Want to hear what Cherry need to tell me. Dont go anywhere. Be right back. :*