EPISODE 10.

Hey. what day is today? Saturday? Freaks out. i have not done doing my maths and some other homeworks because i left it under the table. oh i wish, my books are still under the table. if not... i surely die. gosh. praying so hard. Pleaseee. i will be mad if teacher took it away. school will starts very soon. i'm just stress. both sister of mine want to buy phone . IPHONE4S. i am very jealous. they got many money. while me? i don't feel good anyway. i cried because of it. i want to work. get my own money and buy. i don't care. if i need to be stupid, end my studies this year or what ever it is. I'm willing. Rather than waiting for a thing that i don't want to wait. i don't feel like living in this world. i get bored of my life. and i feels like killing myself. i don't want to live in this world anymore. so useless. Then now, i got no mood. my mum go disturb me with no reason. who never get mad? i shouted at her and guess what she says. she say ' don't wish that i will buy you a phone' . she promised me and she say she don't want to buy for me? broken promises. i want to prove to people that i can survive without family. i don't care if my marks are getting from bad to worst. its been 3 years since i as for a new branded phone. My parents are rich. why can't they buy for me. once in a life time i ask then they say some stupid stuffs. i don't care. if i need to be a slut or what. i still wants to work. i don't want to stay at this house already. i want go stay some where else. please eh. my life so sucks . i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to live anymore. i don't want to have a family anymore. i don't want to continue study anymore. i don't want to be a part of this family anymore. i want to find money. i want to die. i want to stop studies. i want to be stupid if i have to. i want to stay some where else where i don't have anybody by my side. i want to do anything so i can get what i want. if i have to do all that, i will. for money to buy phone. to live my life. i want to make my life very useless because it was now. i want to live my life with darkness. i don't want to hear any advice. i don't need anybody by my side now. i want to save up. i want to be happy. i don't have any happiness. i want to be FOREVER ALONE. if school starts , i want to sell things or something else to get money. i don't get any rewards if i passed or get my marks better. my life is full of shit , failures, darkness, scoldings and thoughts. all i know first thing i want to do is to buy my phone. and please, Hari Raya come faster. so i get more money to support me. my life is full of challenges. once i said, will make it clear. the picture up there says that 'tomorrow'. but i say next time.

EPISODE 9.

Hey episode 9! to episode 8... i'm sorry because i didnt update on the same day. because my sister and i was doing something else. my sister went SG at 4am in the morning with dad. so yeah. i cant stay up so late lah. got no friend to tag along. so? i got damn many stories to tell. i dont care if you give a damn or not for that one readers. Cherry, its not you. :)

Firstly, yesterday. my ask my sister not to go back. so, she didnt. but she says she work today and i need to force myself to tell her to go back early at 4am. with dad. yesterday was a very surprising and exciting day! My big sister & her bf go and buy cakes at Lavender shop. Cake shop. they bought it when my mum, birthday sis and me was eating at Anjung Tokoh. the place that Cherry ate with me before :)  my big sister say : Mama, give me money. i want go buy car accessories . then my mum fished out the money. actually, idk about it. but, good lah. a surprise for me too! so, after that they went to buy the cake and then they fetch us at AT. then my birthday sister ask... where the car thingy? then my sister say : behind. got boxes and stuffs . very big. go home then can open. then my sister's bf drive us to karaoke there. and then we booked a room ah. then my sister and her bf say they forgotten to take something. so my birthday sister, mum and i went to the room first. then suddenly ! SURPRISE!
Secondly, Shairah and Me getting better already. *forced situation*
Thirdly,  i got nothing much to update.. i forgotten those stories. :( next episode okay?
and yeah, i update later! :)

EPISODE 8.

Hey guys. what i wish come true. Firstly, i get to chat with my sister , Cherry! its been so long since last we talk . :7 hmm. Secondly, i dont hope for it. but, its the fact. had so much fun with beloved sister yesterday but yet, she needs to go back to sg tomorrow. so sad. what a life. after one problem, another come. gonna spend my last night with her sadly. tsk, i hate last days. and you know what? Cherry. she chatted with me a few mins ago till now. okaay, what she told me was... her bf started again. he ask for a break. what's wrong with him? i dont understand. like so complicated. i think they havent broke up. please, dont. i cant imagine. i just cant. oh my gosh. Love is hurtful. man, i never wish to fall in love again. wah piang. i got nothing much to update but all i know is...
-Cherry can't broke up with her bf.
-Sis going back tomorrow.
-Gonna spend the last night.
-I hate to be last. (like Cherry always experienced.)
-Never wish to have a love partner.
-Life is complicated.
-I am not ready to move on.
-Hope everything's gonna be okay.

I hope nothing happens after this. I'm sick. can my episodes here, not to be so like emo? i'm here to share my life. yes i do. but the cheerful parts. :) Enjoy reading my little , complicated and boring episode for today. but, do take Cherry's story seriously dude. Gonna update soon, next episode by today. i promise. Want to hear what Cherry need to tell me. Dont go anywhere. Be right back. :*

EPISODE 7.

Hey. Today? i never go sg. cool right? and, i cant chat with cherry. fantastic. i suddenly remembered. i told you that TUESDAY i will try to take time to chat with cherry right? she never online. shes busy. gotta understand. ok. worst, i never eat breakfast nor lunch. how to gain weight? tell me? all sucks. my dad, yesterday night give mum and sister money. but not me. That time, i went Gopeng with NPCC cadets. you know how much i bring along for my money? rm50. is it enough? 4 days and i get so less. even my friends buy a lot of stuffs for our shopping session. fuck yeah. i know im a foster child. i'll never regret to be one but i regret for living in this world. fml. i dont understand why. and today? i dont know what to update for now. next episode soon. bye. here, some stupid quote up there.

EPISODE 6.

Hey. at night update. will try to update more okaay^^. if you were asking me what was the answer of mhy beloved friends about tomorrow's plan was... Ariena, dont want to reply. she's always like that. fuck. Cherry? she says this whole week, she was busy. ok fine. i will just hang out alone. why my life, every where i go, my status was *ALONE*. like no life. i got ever think of why i was born in this world. my family, treat me well, as a maid. i mean like a maid. friends? betrayed me, ignored me, walling me. understand what i mean? no. K-.- well . i can easily understand what im writing. i feels left away, like a foster child, my breakfast, lunch and also dinner was always sucks. some secret to tell you, almost 4 times a week i ate maggie up. maybe sardines? that's the reason why im so thin like a stick girl and the rest of my family arent. sometimes, i say i hate my body and so on because i want to feel what the others  do. i would like to be tag along when you guys got exercises to do. its not about losing more weight . its about i want to be fit. i ate up a lot. till rice in my house finished. you cant see improvements. in one month, i grew taller by 5cm or what so ever. you guys says im short. yes i do, but its hurtful. i cant help myself. by drinking milk also doesnt change it. i grew up taller because every night i jump in my bed like someone's mad. you just dont know. at school, i almost finish my money because i bought milks, snack and rice. bubble tea? you know, i always buy bubble tea that contains milk. i do eat outside for my dinner sometimes, but what i ate is what i taste. i buy one plate for myself. you know what? my sisters and mother suddenly take their fork/spoon and taste some. if it taste nice, they'll take more. how can i be fat? i always drink up milo when i'm having dinner.. i cant blame anyone. but, i blame myself. you guys are lucky to have the things that i dont. you guys dont ever understand what my feelings are. you think im joking? my life is not a joke.
and hell, my dinner is just a fried noodles and blueberry drink. :( i cant upload pictures now. my wifi is running out of service. snap a pic just now. upload soon. i got nothing much to update. i hate my life. fml.

EPISODE 5.

hey. sad news. actually, i plan to go sg tmrw. seriously, at home so bored. ask that bitch, Ariena, she never reply. ask cherry? she was away and dont knw when she can reply. its so sad for me. you know what? jealousy of seeing other friends going out meeting each other. i just dont know why i got this freaking feeling that no one can barely understand. i can update you for so long. my mum ask me to bath then accompany her go massage thingy. i just need to shake my head saying yes and i gonna prepare soon. okay lol. and you know what? mum say ask my dad for money, permission and must go back with my dad. money for shopping or eat, top up ez-link , top up phone. ask permission? my mum let me. the difficulties is that, my dad dont always let me to go out during holidays. he said, that's dangerous. okay dad. i know you love me,  but do give me a bit of freedom. i got nothing much to update. i hope my kakak, Cherry will reply soon and say she will join or what so ever. i want to update many many. but then, i got no stories. and, Syazwani. the one who ever talks to my kakak before. she use to hang out with me, Ariena and some others when she fought with Jasmeen. when they okay alr, left us. wtf sia. update at night. mum's getting red! bye..

EPISODE 4.

a boring monday today. i got nothing much to update. but, i got a few stories which i suddenly remembered. okay first. Shairah, you know her? a senior of mine. sec2. she really flirts with Izzuddin. you know that guy? he's my senior from pri sch. okay, the problem is. Din got girlfriend alr. Din and that Shairah know from the soccer club or something. their tweets, the way they took photos together, the way they praise each other. you imagine, Din's girlfriend know about it. That girl be single lately. just broke up. and then, their tweets, is referring to each other. i feels like vomiting right now. yeah, that girl is white like a snow white, pretty like a princess, tall like a stick man, have a weight which is suitable, rich like a millionaire, hair long like a string. so what? doesn't mean both of them like each others way of life, they must stead right? okay, i get jealous because she can attract many boys attention. no lie, the fact. honest much. they ate together, go out together and stuffs.I'm jealous. i got never did to a guy like that when I'm single. Am i a something or something? okay, you don't get what i meant. i just get tired of jealousy. Zawiah , stop it. for you info, my tweets are all about her. Blogs about her. Sweet scandal. Secondly, my Malay homework. my gosh. just find out that i need to do 100 words . find the words from newspapers/articles then find meaning. troublesome right? i heard , many of them don't even give a damn to do. so, i won't. i want to spent my week enjoying and sleep early. can? of course. Thirdly, my sister and mum wants to buy a pussy cat from our neighbor. white color. so adorable. I'm not sure about the price. but, mum says, she will buy it for my sister and me. I'm so excited like hell. hope it really happens. Fourthly,  my brother go back to his own house already. so sad :( no one will scold me. once a week , he will visit mum and my family at here. hoping that lord will keep him save. Fifthly, i have not bath yet and mum is sleeping while she said she want to go massage. then, fall asleep. and and, my sister come back at 6pm today. so early right. okay, i got nothing much to update. anything, next episode. bye. :*

EPISODE 3.

Hey! Sup sup. I'm back here again.. my mama is back! yes ah. okay. i got nothing much to update. let me tell you something. I am not satisfy with some bitch out there. and one of them is Ariena. all she say was like a lie. the fights are over. yes, but i just can't say it out. unfortunately, my friend who stay near my house which is Hafizah, she promise me saying that want to meet. okay fine. i wake up at afternoon then they never turn up. what the hell, right? i feel so sad. i just don't know why. maybe because her friend came here, she need to give a extra treat. seriously? and then what am I? i am just a friend which wait for other friend to come. but, what i hated most is the word 'never turn up'. what am i suppose to do... they treat me like rubbish. almost all the plans that i made, all never turn up. i so stress.
Ariena- Is the want that ever talks to Cherry happily and looks so innocent.
Hafizah- Is the want that Cherry don't know who she is, Singaporean, stay here for visiting her grandparents house. Is the want who bring her friend here, and ignores me.
That's what i call 'friend'. i prefers Cherry as my only best friend this year. even, we are not that close a few years back. we can start fresh. with all those stories we had. that's a new life.
As a friend, i want to help Cherry by:
-making her fit
-makes her day
-help her to lose weight
-stop the shits that Irfan made
-make them two happy again
-accompany her
-chat with her every time
-go home with her
-exchange stories
-keep it private
-be my sister? :)

EPISODE 2.

Hey! today is a unplanned morning. Suppose to accompany mama to go massage . but then, wake up. saw her wearing long pants with a simple tee. ask her, mama, going for the massage thingy? she says, no. wake up so late. night then we go. then i replied, where you going now? she left and say shop. then now? me? alone at home . HOME ALONE. Cherry, can't be able to chat. because she say she got outing. i am not sure what kind of outing. maybe family's? i pity her damn much. that guy who she love a lot can't continue with all his shit. that's the mistake for falling too deep. actually, i want to do something about it. but then, cherry say don't. so, i won't. i am the type that listens well. communicate well. enjoyable. forever alone. forever young. intelligence i need most. money is what i call my husband. and fashion of clothing i call my very best friend. if you know me well, you should know about this. i don't encourage you to remember. but if you are a good listener, you should. i got nothing much to update. my English so broken like that. hmm, enjoy reading. in one day, i can do more than 1 episodes. so, do check it out.

Mama, where are you? oh my gosh. i love this guy.. he's so hot and he makes me melts all time. follow me at Twitter. @zawiahh.

EPISODE 1.

Hey! :) its 1.00am and I'm updating. i just want to surprise Cherry. she say i will be busy if i start blogging. i guess no.. because, i blog during I'm free. my sis is currently doing her stuffs right now. at least, i got a friend to hold up early in the morning. cherry says that she got outing tomorrow. so, probably can't chat with her. but, I'll take her time on TUESDAY. okay :) i actually want to tell the story of my life. it is just that like i can't. okay first, i love Akmal. he don't know about it. dream about him lately. what a nightmare. Cherry? Irfan ignored her. just pity her. she says she want to lose weight. she says she's ugly. she says she just put a happy status in her life. she says she love comparing herself. she says that guy contact with other pretty girls. Cherry, accept the fact that all that is just a mind. follows your heart. that's the main point.