Epidose 12.

Everything happen in life must be gone by wind.

Salehin? idk what else happen between us. its hurtful. its been 1 week i last talked to him. he is happy with his new life where he is now so close with Shairah. I know, you're my crush. but, can we talk about this? i dont want to lose you. i dont want to have nightmares anymore. My heart is just for you. My brain are full of you. my tears are for you. My soul are only for you. but , will you do the same? no. i guess what i said is always true. Its been long for me since i last never saw you at canteen like we used to. its been so long. and , im absent from school today. i wont know what will happen. i dont know if you miss me or not. but sincerely , i do. Saturday , Sunday. Am i sure if you are going to be online like you used to? i dont know what will happen. i dont know if you are attach with................ all this freaking feeling makes me feel so tired. I am honest for this. i dont want anything to happen between us. you asked me to move on, its hard for me. I'll try. you said stay as friends. so, i do. you and your other friend which is female gender , were so close. then me? sorry if i irritates you. i dont mean it. i just want to show how much i fucking love you :'( I dont want to be hurt again. i dont want to cry again. i dont want to be left out again. i dont want to be in love again. Lastly, I dont want to lose you. That's all. I really love you with my heart. I dont go for your looks. i dont go for your pats , i dont go for your money, i dont go for your cleverness. i go for your personality and for who you are. it is really sad if you doesnt know this. I've been asking you for another date which maybe will be better than 190712 . but, i dont get the response. why is it so?

On 190712 , we go through sweetness and hardness. Hard core baby.
I waited you for your floorball training to end and we plan to go back together. SO, we do. but, we didn't sat together in the bus and where ever we supposed. You chose to sit with Shairah at bus. I have Felix , Matthew, Adam and Jayson near me. but, i dont feel you there. You sat 3meters away from me. You laughed, smile, shout, talk with her. What can i do with it? i can't do anything. In this life, i will be your friend . But in the other life, i will be your girl. Waiting for your love roses against me. And then, the trip of the bus ended at Yishun Interchange. I walked all alone till Northpoint. Suddenly, Felix, Adam and Jayson shouted my name and asked me if i want to follow them to KFC with you or not. so i do, you went to a clothing shop near the place where i'm stuck with road blocks. then, i walked to KFC , you walked beside me. You asked me where i really wanna go right now cause , im walking to other direction. i replied 'Toilet'. so you followed , we separated outside the toilet and you went to man's toilet and that time, ladies toilet was full. so the q is so long till outside. Then i heard you saying to Felix saying "asal dia cute sangat? " cause i was doing faces. i was so happy but sad. then , you said you wait for me outside. I said 'ok.' and put a smile and wait for my turn to be in the toilet bowl peeing. after a few minutes , its my turn to go to the toilet. after i finish going to toilet... i do adjust my hair , adjust my skirt and adjust my awkward feelings and washed my hand and walked out of the toilet. right after i walked out, the first face i saw was you. Then we chose our seats. You buy for me S4 . Which is Snackers , contains of Fries and Popcorn Chicken. then , not enough money to buy your's. then you ask me to eat. i just sat at my seat and stare at you. i am shy to talk . Felix talking to me then i show him that tongue out face :b . then you say , anything i do , you can see at the mirror next to Adam. I was like paisey ah. then , i use eye contact to you face to face. Long long , i was damn shy and look at the mirror while you too. we use eye contact there. you make so many jokes that make me smile and laugh to the 3 K P O boys. Then , 30 minutes later , Felix asked me why i dont want to eat after too many times they asked me to eat. then my reason was "Because he never eat". Then , the 3 K P O boys was like awwwwwwww. then he ate one popcorn and then i also. From 6.45pm to 8pm . love that day. then, after that the boys went off to interchange. that day , i MUST take Mrt. so i did. he sent me . He took mrt too. but , he took towards Marina Bay while me , Jurong. So , he wait till my train to come even tough  he's train arrived. How sweet are you , salehin. Melt ah seh :) then, my train arrived. so, i alight the train. It was peak hours. FULL. Then , he wave goodbye to me . and i wave goodbye too. that's all. <3

Face i was talking about. 

Love this day so much :')
#Justsaying - Most of the girls did adjust their self in toilets especially during their dates.