EPISODE 10.

Hey. what day is today? Saturday? Freaks out. i have not done doing my maths and some other homeworks because i left it under the table. oh i wish, my books are still under the table. if not... i surely die. gosh. praying so hard. Pleaseee. i will be mad if teacher took it away. school will starts very soon. i'm just stress. both sister of mine want to buy phone . IPHONE4S. i am very jealous. they got many money. while me? i don't feel good anyway. i cried because of it. i want to work. get my own money and buy. i don't care. if i need to be stupid, end my studies this year or what ever it is. I'm willing. Rather than waiting for a thing that i don't want to wait. i don't feel like living in this world. i get bored of my life. and i feels like killing myself. i don't want to live in this world anymore. so useless. Then now, i got no mood. my mum go disturb me with no reason. who never get mad? i shouted at her and guess what she says. she say ' don't wish that i will buy you a phone' . she promised me and she say she don't want to buy for me? broken promises. i want to prove to people that i can survive without family. i don't care if my marks are getting from bad to worst. its been 3 years since i as for a new branded phone. My parents are rich. why can't they buy for me. once in a life time i ask then they say some stupid stuffs. i don't care. if i need to be a slut or what. i still wants to work. i don't want to stay at this house already. i want go stay some where else. please eh. my life so sucks . i don't want to think anymore. i don't want to live anymore. i don't want to have a family anymore. i don't want to continue study anymore. i don't want to be a part of this family anymore. i want to find money. i want to die. i want to stop studies. i want to be stupid if i have to. i want to stay some where else where i don't have anybody by my side. i want to do anything so i can get what i want. if i have to do all that, i will. for money to buy phone. to live my life. i want to make my life very useless because it was now. i want to live my life with darkness. i don't want to hear any advice. i don't need anybody by my side now. i want to save up. i want to be happy. i don't have any happiness. i want to be FOREVER ALONE. if school starts , i want to sell things or something else to get money. i don't get any rewards if i passed or get my marks better. my life is full of shit , failures, darkness, scoldings and thoughts. all i know first thing i want to do is to buy my phone. and please, Hari Raya come faster. so i get more money to support me. my life is full of challenges. once i said, will make it clear. the picture up there says that 'tomorrow'. but i say next time.